Meredith's Choice
by Lotteigh23
Summary: Meredith makes her choice. Derek leaves. He comes back five years later. Sorry the chapters are so short..I'll make them longer I promise!
1. Choices

_Her Choice_

"Meredith?" Finn asked her again.

Meredith closed her eyes.

It was her choice now. She had to choose between Finn, the guy who was perfect for her, or Derek. The guy who had her heart.

It all came down to this.

Finn was great. He was nice, charming, funny and attractive. He had plans. Plans for _them._

Then, there was Derek. The man who had chosen his wife over her. The man who called her a whore. The man who she was in love with.

The way she looked at it, she had two choices.

She could run and hide, or she could choose.

"Meredith, are you alright?"

Meredith opened her eyes and saw Finn looking at her, clearly concerned.

Meredith gave him a small smile. "I'm fine."

And she was fine.

She knew who she had to choose.

It was the right choice.

Meredith looked at Derek and smiled.

"See you tomorrow Doctor Shephard." She said.

Meredith walked oved to Finn and smiled. "Let's go home." She said.

Derek watched as Meredith and Finn walked down the stairs together, hand in hand.

For the first time in his life, Derek Shephard had lost.


	2. He's back!

Meredith's Choice-part 2

Thanks to the 2 people who reviewed..I am insulted! Just joking..I'm not that great of a writer anyway...

_"beeeeeeeeeppppp"_

"Ugh." Derek Shephard rolled over and looked at the alarm clock.

Then it hit him.

Today was his first day back at Seattle Grace.

Today, for the first time in five years, he would see Meredith again.

Crap.

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_"beeeeeeeeeeeepppppp"_

"Ugh."

Meredith Grey rolled over and looked at the alarm clock.

"Morning Meredith." Meredith's fiancée Finn smiled at her.

Meredith smiled. "Morning."

"Should I get Ellie or do you want to?" Finn asked Meredith

"Umm..you can get her and I'll feed her." Meredith answered.

"Sure." Finn got out of bed and went to get their one and a half year old daughter Ellin from her room.

Meredith smiled as she listened to Ellie chatter to Finn.

"Morning El!" Meredith grinned as she sat beside her daughter.

Ellie gave her mum that special you-can't-help-but-love-me smile and spit out her cereal all over her high chair.

Meredith rolled her eyes and cleaned it up.

"Mer, if you don't leave now, you'll be late." Finn told her.

Meredith hated leaving Ellie in the mornings. "Okay, I'll be back around six."

Meredith kissed Finn and Ellie and walked out to her car.

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"Do you have any idea what Burke said to me this morning?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and smiled as she walked into the hospital. "Morning Cristina."

Cristina glared at her, "He told me that I need to start spending more time at home with Ryan."

"Well, Ryan is your son." Meredith replied

"Yeah, but he's three and a half for god's sake! He doesn't need me around all of the time!"

Having Ryan hadn't made Cristina go soft as far as anyone could tell, but Meredith could see her eyes light up when anyone mentioned him.

"So, should we take the elevator or the stairs today?' Cristina asked.

"Elevator. I am so tired. Ellie was up-"

Meredith froze as she stepped onto the elevator with Cristina.

Standing behind her was the man that she had thought that she had forgotten about.

The man that still made her knees go weak as she looked at him.

The man that she had fallen in love five years ago.

McDreamy was back.


	3. Oh God

Part 3

_Oh god._

"Meredith?"

_Oh god._

"Meredith?"

Meredith turned around to face Derek, "What?"

"Hi."

"Hi.What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for a consult." Derek told her.

Meredith turned back around. "Oh."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Well this is akward isn't it."

Meredith glared at her.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

Derek, Merediith and Cristina all stepped off.

"I'll see you later Meredith. Cristina." Derek said.

Meredith gave him a tight smile and left with Cristina into the Residesnts room where everyone else was getting ready.

"Dude, you will never guess who's back." Alex said to Meredith and Cristina as they walked in.

"Derek." Meredith said

Alex frowned, "How did you know?"

"He was in the elevator with Cristina and I."

Izzie walked out of the bathroom, "Did you guys say that McDreamy's back?"

Cristina grinned, "Yup."

Izzie's mouth dropped open. "No!"

"Yes." Meredith told her.

"Oh my god! It's been what, five years?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah." George replied.

"Wow."

Alex looked at the clock, "Look I hate to break up the little gossip club, but if we don't hurry, we're going to be late."

Meredith frowned. "I guess I better go round up my interns."

"I'll come with you." George yelled from his locker.

George and Meredith left the room and walked down the hall to their interns.

Meredith smiled at them. "Okay, O'Brien you're with Dr. Montgomery, Streep you're with Dr. Camden and Ryers and Kent you are with Dr. Robinson today."

George gave his interns their assignments and walked over to Meredith, "Who are you working with today?"

"I don't know, but I'm scrubbing in on Riley Carson's surgery so I'll be wirking with whatever surgeon is doing that."

"Meredith? Doesn't Riley have a tumor in his brain?" George asked.

Meredith looked at George. "Yeah."

"And didn't the doctor who was supposed to be operating on him get sick last week?"

"Yeah."

"So does that mean that you'll be working with Dr. Shephard?'

Meredith stopped walking. "No. George I would know if I was working with Shephard."

"Oh. Well I have to go to 308, so I'll see you later." George left.

"Bye George."

Meredith turned the corner and reached Mr. Carson's room.

_Please don't be Derek. Please don't be Derek._

She turned the handle and opened the door.

Damnit.


	4. Tragedy

Part 4

Of course.

It had to be him.

"Morning Dr.Grey!" Riley Carson smiled at his favorite doctor.

Meredith smiled back at him. "Morning Mr.Carson."

Derek glanced at Meredith and then turned to his patient. "Mr. Carson, I will be filling in for Dr.Hunters while she is out. Dr.Grey will be assisting me with your surgery."

Riley grinned. "Sounds good."

Derek turned back to Meredith. "Dr. Grey why don't you take Mr.Carson down to CT. I'll meet you down there in a minute."

Meredith frowned. "Dr. Shephard? Usually Dr. Hunter sends an intern down to CT."

"Well I'm not Dr. Hunter now am I Dr. Grey?" Derek smiled at her.

"That is obvious." Meredith said quietly, trying to hide a grimace.

Derek looked at her. "What was that?"

Meredith smiled falsely. "Nothing, nothing."

"Good." Derek left the room.

Riley looked at Meredith. "So, do I sense some history between the two of you?"

Meredith's head snapped up from Riley's chart. "What? No. No not at all."

"Whatever."

Meredith wheeled Riley down to CT and waited for Derek to arrive.

"Dr. Grey, how does it look?" derek walked into the room and Meredith jumped up.

"God you scared me!"

Derek laughed.

She had missed his laugh.

"Everything looks good Dr. Shephard. The tumor is quite small so we should be able to get rid of it easily."

"Good. So, Meredith what have you been up to?" Derek asked as he reviewed the scan.

"Sorry Dr.Shephard?" Meredith was caught off guard.

"What have you been doing for the past oh five years?" Derek smiled at Meredith.

"Nothing really."

"Oh, well Dr. Mathews can take things from here so why don't we head back upstairs?" Derek asked her.

Meredith walked towards the door, "Sure."

"Meredith!" George yelled as Meredith walked out of the elevator with Derek following.

"George? What's wrong?" Meredith ran towards him.

"I need you to come with me okay?"

Meredith froze. "What happened? Is it Ellie? Is she alright?"

George touched Meredith's arm. "Meredith."

"What?" Meredith asked frantically.

George hesitated, "Mer, it's your mom."

Meredith went pale, "What?"

"Meredith-"

Dr. Bailey walked out of a hospital room and shook her head at George.

"Meredith, can I talk to you in private please?" Bailey asked her.

Meredith followed Dr. Bailey into an empty room and Bailey shut the door.

"Meredith, when the nurse who was on duty at the rest home went to wake up your mother this morning, she couldn't."

Meredith looked up from the floor, "What do you mean?"

"Meredith, your mother had a severe stroke early this morning." Dr. Bailey put her arm around Meredith, "The nurse called 911 and we and we've done everything that we can, but - Meredith, your mother is brain dead."

Meredith put her hand over her mouth, "Oh my god, I was supposed to take Ellie to go and see her today-"

Dr. Bailey Put her hands on Meredith's shoulders and forced Meredith to look at her, "Your mother is still on life support and-"

"You need me to consent for her to be taken off?" Meredith cut in.

"Yes." Bailey answered

Meredith cleared her throut, "Okay then let's do it now."

Meredith followed Dr. Bailey out of the room and down the hall until she came to what seemed to be a deserted room. there were no doctors coming or going to or from the room.

"Meredith." Finn was standing beside the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." Meredith answered.

"Are you ready?" Bailey asked Meredith

"No."

Dr.Bailey pushed the door open and Meredith and Finn walked in behind her.

"Oh god."

The woman lying in the bed was not Ellis grey. She was not the Ellis grey that Meredith knew. Ellis Grey was strong and independant. She was arrogant but smart. The woman lying there looked so helpless and tiny. That could not be Ellis Grey.

Meredith leaned over and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Good bye Mom. I love you."

Dr. Bailey glanced at Meredith and she nodded her head. "Are you ready?"

Meredith brushed away her tears and nodded.

Dr. Bailey turned off the machines and squeezed Merediths arm, "I am so sorry."

Meredith nodded her head.

Finn hugged her, "Do you want a minute alone with your mom?" he asked.

"Please." Meredith kissed Finn on the cheek and he followed Dr. Bailey out of the room.

Meredith sat down in the chair beside her mother.

"Mom, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you. I should've come to visit you more often with Ellie and-" Meredith broke off sobbing.

She leaned over and kissed her mothers cheek, "I am so sorry mom. I love you." She whispered.

Meredith straigtened up, wiped her tears away and walked ou of the room.

"Mer, are you okay?" Izzie walked over to her and gave her a hug.

Meredith sighed -"I'm fine."

Alex, cristina and george walked up behind Izzie.

George put his arm around Meredith, "Mer, if I can do anything just tell me okay?"

"Guys, seriously I'm fine. I just need to go home." Meredith gave them a small not very convincing smile.

She had so many arrangements to make, so many people to call.

All she wanted to do was curl up and cry.

"Mgggha."

Meredith looked up and saw Finn walking towards her holding Ellie.

Meredith felt her eyes water again. "Ellie! Come here honey."

Meredith took Ellie from Finn and hugged her.

"Mer, honey? How are you?" Finn looked at Meredith with concern in his eyes.

"I'm better now that you guys are here." Meredith put her nose against Ellie's and smiled, despite her tears that were threatening to spill over any moment now.

Finn put his arms around Ellie and Meredith and sighed.

Meredith looked up at him, "Let's go home."

Finn kissed her head, "Okay."

Meredith switched Ellie to her hip and began walking back to everyone else.

Derek watched Meredith walk away with Finn and a little girl. _'The little girl-Ellie?- has to be Meredith's. She looks exactly like her. Except for her black hair.'_

Derek shook his head. He knew it was horrible to even think like this-but he couldn't help wishing that it was him in Finn's place. He wanted to be the one to comfort Meredith.

"Dr. Shephard?" George snapped Derek out of his daydreaming.

"What?"

"Dr. Burke needs a consult in room 305."

"Yeah I'll be there in one second."

Derek took one last look at Meredith and Finn and left to continue with the rest of his work.

_**Love it? Hate it? This chapter was kind of dumb, but I have serious writers block! **_

_**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**_


	5. Losing

Part 5

Meredith sat on the couch in funeral home nodding her head occasionally as people gave their condolences. She wasn't really listening; she was too busy thinking about all of the things that had been plaguing her mind for the past few days. Derek. Her mother. Finn. All of them seemed to be combining together to create one giant problem.

But how to solve it?

Someone sat beside her and it only registered to her after he wrapped his arms around her that it was Finn.

"Are you okay?" he asked

Meredith disentangeled herself from his grasp and stood up. "I can't do this right now. I'm sorry."

She walked away, leaving a stunned Finn in her wake.

Meredith opened the door that led outside into the cold, damp weather.

She bumped into someone as the door closed.

She looked up and groaned.

Perfect.

"Meredith!" exclaimed a surprised looking Derek, "I thought that you would be inside."

"I was," she replied, biting her lip, "but I couldn't anymore."

"Are you okay?"

Meredith gave him a mirthless laugh. "Do you know how many people have asked me that?"

Derek opened hus arms and Meredith couldn't resist anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. She sobbed for a good five minutes before she could utter a coherent sentence.

"I just couldn't deal with everything anymore." Meredith bit her lip to stop another wave of tears, "It's just too much."

"Shh." Derek whispered into her ear, "It's all going to be okay."

Meredith pulled back and glared at him. "You don't know that!" She knew she was being a hysterical fool, but she couldn't help it. "No one can know that!"

She ran back inside, tears spilling from her eyes.

Why couldn't she find comfort in either of the men in her life?

"Meredith?" Cristina walked towards her friend.

"Cristina-" Meredith paused to try and collect herself, "I can't do this anymore."

"I know." Cristina awkwardly gave Meredith a hug.

Meredith brushed her tears away and headed back into the room where Finn was waiting for her.

"Meredith-"

Meredith cut Finn off. "Finn, I'm sorry, it's just that, well, I didn't think that it would be this hard when my mother died."

Finn put his arms around her. "It will all be over soon Mer."

"Meredith?"

Alex walked towards Meredith with Izzie behind him holding Ellie.

Izzie gave Ellie to Alex and gave Meredith a hug.

"How are you?"

Meredith sighed. "I've been better."

Alex passed Ellie to Finn and put his hane on Meredith's shoulder. "I'm so sorry Mer."

Meredith smiled, "Thanks."

Finn gave Ellie back to Izzie and put his arm around Meredith. "Mer, people are beginning to leave."

"I should go and see them out. Thanks for watching Ellie you guys."

Izzie gave Meredith a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about it. She was an angel."

Ellie smiled and blew a kiss at her mother.

Meredith smiled and kissed Ellie on the forehead. "I'll come and pick you up later El."

Izzie and Alex headed back to Alex's house with Ellie in tow and Meredith walked back out into the hallway and thanked everyone for coming and headed home with Finn.

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"Meredith, how was your first day back?" Chief Webber asked Meredith as she walked out of the residents room

"Pretty good." Meredith answered, "So Dr. Webber, are you ready for your retirement?

He groaned. "I don't know what I'm going to do without this hospital."

Meredith smiled. "Well you could always baby sit Ellie for us."

Richard laughed. "I'll have to talk that over with my wife."

Meredith smiled as she climbed onto the elevator. "Bye Chief."

Meredith hit the ground floor button and leaned back onto the wall.

The elevator stopped at the second floor and Derek stepped on.

Meredith inwardly groaned.

Derek glanced up at her and leaned against the wall opposite of her.

"Meredith-"

Meredith cut him off. "Derek, just don't."

Derek pulled the emergency button and the elevator stopped.

"Meredith, I- we need to talk."

Meredith glared at him. "Not now Derek. I have to go home."

"Meredith you and I have both been denying our feelings for the past week! I know that you don't want to hurt Finn but-"

Meredith glared at him. "Derek just for once could you think about someone else besides yourself? It's not just Finn that I have to think about, there's Ellie! I am not going to ruin my family just for you. I am not going to turn into my mother!"

Derek took a step towards her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her-hard.

Meredith pulled away. "There's no fireworks." she whispered.

Derek look down at her. "What?"

Meredith hesitated, "Derek, there's just nothing between us anymore. I'll always love you, but I'm in love with Finn and we have a daughter, and I am not going to have Ellie grow up without her dad."

Derek stepped back and leaned against the wall.

Meredith pushed the button back in and a minute later, the elevator doors opened and Meredith stepped out.

"Meredith!" Finn stood at the entrance of the hospital holding Ellie in one hane and flowers in the other ,"We thought we'd surprise you."

Meredith grinned, "Finn!" She kissed him and he passed Ellie to her. "Hi baby! Oh Mummy missed you!"

Meredith looked back at Derek and smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow Dr. Shephard."

Derek watched Finn put his arm around Meredith and watched the family of three leave the hospital laughing.

For the second time in his life, Derek Shephard had lost.

Well, I hope that you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.

This is the last chapter of "Meredith's choice" so...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!

Thanks,

oth rox


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